My Vanilla Kush Smoke Report: Ganja Yoga Rookies

I’ve been feeling super chill all afternoon and this is how I came to writing this Vanilla Kush smoke report. My friend Julie came over earlier to do some yoga together. I detected that familiar earthy, floral smell of weed as soon as I opened the door to greet her. I didn’t realize it was going to be THAT kind of yoga session, but hey, why not? A little Indica could help loosen up some of that tension in my upper back.

Julie got into growing pot during quarantine, turns out she’s got quite the green thumb. Her latest batch came from Vanilla Kush seeds she got earlier this year. I haven’t tried it yet, but I smoke weed pretty regularly so I’m always ready to try something new. As I roll out my mat, she gets to grinding up some chunky buds and rolling a joint.

Vanilla Kush Review, Part 1: A Perfect Strain for Yoga. Or is It?

Around 12pm: We’re both chilling on our yoga mats, passing the joint of Vanilla Kush with the ashtray placed between us. I’ve cracked a window open but the smoke is still thick in the air around us, piney and sweet. The joint definitely tastes like vanilla! When I say this to Julie, she can’t help but chatter away about how she got this Barney’s Farm Vanilla Kush specifically because of its ‘terpene profile’. I’m not that picky about how my weed tastes, but I definitely benefit from her connoisseur-level knowledge.

12:15pm: Julie kills the last bit of the joint. Neither of us are very advanced at yoga, so I pop a youtube video on the tv, a guy with a nice voice (and nicer abs) that Julie and I both like for our workouts together. The video starts with a short guided meditation, perfect for letting the high sink in. I was already starting to feel it while we were smoking, but it seems like this Vanilla Kush strain is a bit of a creeper. I’m sitting cross-legged in lotus pose, eyes closed, focusing on my breath and adjusting my posture. A nice blissful sensation spreads from my chest throughout the rest of my abdomen, into my limbs, slowly tingling into my fingertips. I can feel my muscles relaxing each time I breathe out.

12:30pm: The meditation ends and I open my eyes. After coming up on my high with my eyes closed pretty much the whole time, the light coming in from the windows seems brighter than usual. As I shift into a standing position to do some simple sun salutations, I suddenly feel way more baked. I get a little dizzy going from sitting to standing, so I take it slow. Julie notices and can’t help but giggle at me. I’m not usually such a lightweight, but this Vanilla Kush weed is pretty strong!

Vanilla Kush Review, Part 2: Turns Out, It’s not…

We start going through the poses. I’m feeling pretty good, although I’m moving slower than Julie. I’m a little surprised at how cerebral the high is, and it’s a little distracting. Each time I move into the chaturanga pose, I feel my limbs getting heavier. In the third round, I can’t help it. I drop down and just lay on my mat, turning to Julie to say “no more!” We both start cracking up, rolling onto our backs while the video keeps playing in the background. Julie accidentally knocks over the ashtray and that makes us crack up even more. With that, there was no way we were going to get back to the video.

Around 1:00pm: Still laying on the mats, just talking and laughing, after cleaning up the mess. Suddenly my stomach growls. Loudly. Julie says, “Oh thank God, I’m starving too!” Realistically, we only made it through like 30 minutes of that video, including the meditation. Oh, whatever, not every workout is successful, right? It’s snack time now for sure. Maybe Julie should have warned me that we might get the munchies! In hindsight, I should have gone grocery shopping beforehand. There’s not much in the fridge, and we’ve already ditched the workout, so might as well go all out and order a pizza. We’re both super down, since we’re not feeling like going out into the world.

1:30pm: Pizza is here! And not a moment to spare because I have become truly ravenous. We hadn’t bothered moving from our yoga mats. Definitely some couchlock from that Vanilla Kush, except we hadn’t been able to make it over to the couch! It took all my energy to get up and answer the door when the pizza guy arrived. But it was worth it. This was definitely one of those times when you’re baked out of your mind, and whatever you eat just tastes out of this world. Between the cheesy deliciousness, the intense body high, and random fits of giggles, Julie and I were riding high and having an awesome afternoon.

Around 2:00pm: Just like we roasted that entire joint, Julie and I dusted that huge pizza like nobody’s business. What can I say? We finish what we start. Well, except for the yoga sesh, but whatever. It’s been about two hours since we smoked, so we’re both starting to come back down to earth a little bit. We hang out a bit longer, chatting and listening to music for maybe another hour, until Julie grabs an Uber home. After such a lovely time, I couldn’t help but write a Vanilla Kush strain review. It definitely wasn’t the plan I had for today, and we didn’t necessarily do what we meant to, but it was still a great afternoon. Maybe it’s nap time now?

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